Monkey: I wish I was a bird like you.
Bird: Why?
M: Because you can fly, obviously.
B: But you have opposable thumbs! I mean, have you ever seen me try to use a power tool for example? It is not a nice thing to observe.
M: So what you are saying is I should feel lucky because i can work? Yay.
B: I will never be rich.
M: I have a distinct feeling that the richest of us don't get that way by using power tools, or their thumbs very much, for that matter.
B: Well, and you have a prehensile tail.

A story by me! about how opposable thumbs are not that great, apparently. I don't know about you but I'm pretty fond of mine.

entry 9
talking is warm, i am talking i am warm, my other hand is er changing colour a bit, it's kind of purpley black.. um..my hand is black isabelle, i don't know where leonard is, he took his pack, i cant feel my foot, i have half a pack of cookies - i left the food in the tent for your brother.
entry 10
my name is vladislav, and i have a cookie, my right hand is frost bitten my left foot is frost bitten, im going to cut it off ...my hand, because i cant cut my foot off with my left hand, i want to say.. that i think i saw a fox, i want to say that i am afraid, i want to say .. that i want to go home.. the wind.. the wind.
entry 11
*crazy/scared laugh* i fell asleep, i fell asleep... i fell asleep cutting my hand off, my name is no cookies in the snow , my name is no cookies sleep!, as i was walking out today, my hand fell off, it sounded like burning wood, everything is quite noisy i found your brother, your brother is an idiot, your brother is dead - i tried to eat his arm but he was frozen.
i want you to listen to this , right.... in his pocket.. what was in his pocket, was it a piece of chocolate or bread or something .. no.. no no no no.. it was a cigar and the cigar was taped to a box of matches, i smoked the cigar beside your dead brother. now how many matches were in the box! ok .. one! one! of course one! your brother is so dead, and inedible , what was he for.. besides coming to our apartment and eating everything... part of his neck is missing, the fox got him, i knew there would be a fox, i'm ready for him .. er.. first things first.. i'm very busy right now...so , i really dont have that much time to talk but i want you to er i want you to.. book the restaurant and i don't think we should put those shelves up in the hall, and if you do i'll be very upset ok!...
i want you to call stoker.. that estate agent guy! , and tell him to sell the cottage because its a white elephant ok ! it always has been, and also by the way I've decided I'm going to become an acrobat and give up work, so you have to get your act together and from now on! we're having cookie crumbs and lint for breakfast, dinner and tea, ok, mainly lint, if you have any problems with any of the above - you can speak to my people.
entry 12
i saw a camel today, at first i thought he was here on business, he was slow about approaching me you know, seemed a bit wary .. and then he disappeared for a while, but then .. all at once he was just behind me.... of course i got it wrong you know , i was expecting loads of questions about directions or sights you see, i think of myself as one of the locals now, but it was pretty clear from his expression that he had seen it all before.. a hundred like me had come and gone, i wouldnt be the last. in the end i was embarrassed, i wondered if for want of something to say, i should ask after the fox, but that would of been a mistake.. tourist stuff. he probably didnt even know the guy.
i was glad when he mooched off in the end, he wanted no part of me, and craving his respect just made me feel ashamed.
entry 13
hello isabelle, i am here.. where everything spills from, its very blue, its night now or day, but if its not day then its definitely night, everybodys here.. all the voices, i was surprised by how warm you sound, leonards here somewhere, everybody.. i hear my voice going through my bones urging me to join in, i know when i open my mouth i wont hear anything...
the end.

entry 4
listen.. can you hear that, your brother is chilling out, its official, i hope he knows some other tunes we're on our way doubling back, blood is running in all of my limbs....there's a wind following us, but it's not on us yet, we are a bit behind schedule, but there'll be some tour rep at the camp anyway. i'm sorry about earlier, but you know i dont mean to be heavy, its just probably being here, in this white hallway, makes you think of the first and last you know , the eternal light or whatever, but you i'll speak to you, speak to you properly from the camp.
entry 5
well *chesty cough* ...i can talk to you now, er to you that is , not leonard who is a) asleep and b) not talking to me. he's sleeping in the crucifix position, so i'm under his right armpit. you know he's like travelling with an incredibly touchy self righteous orangutan, although they'll probably be quicker with the maps anyway you're probably not speaking to me either - after that statement, so i've got stereo silent treatment and two cold shoulders, four! infact if you count mine, never mind ... er we're in the tent, we're not at the base yet, he wanted to push on, press on as he said about fourty times... but I couldn't go another step, so I convinced him to pitch up in about the nick of time I would say, because the wind really snapped down on us then... it was crazy trying to get this thing up er i was laughing , and well leonard didn't seem to like that.. have a bath and think of me will ya, maybe i'll wake up clean. i'll talk to you in the morning.
entry 6
morning... i have no idea what entry this is, but it is day 2, its my turn to carry the pack but i'm not going to do that just yet, because leonard has obviously gone out to recky our position again, and anyway as you can probably hear the wind is awake and up . so er... he should of told me he was er.. , well should of bloody woke me really, i'm going to eat something and then see if i can see him *cough* which I'm sure ill be able to do, once i get outside er in the in the...out there.. ugh
it's quite heavy actually, its not actually a good idea, you know for him to have some kind of on-going spat, er i presumed this about yesterday he didnt talk to me this morning, I dont think thats a good idea, because its kind of chucking it out and around out there, you know it looks like a big pillow fight or something
entry 7
it is now 4:30, if leonard left, i woke up at eight, so if he went at seven, he's been out for ten hours so it's er i'm er going to wait i'm, i'm frozen, i'm very cold i mean, i'm very cold , i'm going to wait and leave the tent up obviously um.. and wait for the wind to calm down, if he had waited, anyway .. anyway.. , i'll go out again in an hour say, this by the way is not my fault, he's 18 you know he should have woken me.
entry 8
it's perfectly still, i've lost the tent, i mean i can't see it, i made a hole in the snow for a while, and er everythings settled again, and er .. it looks changed, you know it's different, its er..it looks a bit like when we got out of the plane, but from a different angle, obviously I havent gone that far, but i need to move on a bit to get the bearings *ahem* my throat is sore, my foot is sore, my left foot, and er ...um..... my right hand is a bit sore.

entry 1
er hi hi hello.. this is erm er.. entry number one, what should I call you, "dear ssabelle, isabelle, dear you", dunno... "you there! we're here", i mean we've arrived well i mean we havent , but we're here, we're on our way to the base.
airplane very bumpy fairly unpleasant but it was kind of calm before that just before we landed.. amazing ice flows, below like er what I dunno .. the broken world or something, er the horizon is, seems to be on fire. ugh this is a long way to come just to clear your head i suppose, but it works, I hope you get a lot of time to think, this weekend.. assuming you want to of course, that didnt come out right anyway... i'll be thinking of you, and us and all that.
leonards up ahead with the gear, bobbing and lolloping likes he's trying to headbutt the sky, up and down, up and down, i'll talk to you in a minute..
entry 2
hey! this is er entry 2 , obviously , i hadnt noticed before how much.. like you - leonard looks, I know he's your baby brother and everything he has got a huge head but he does, he does look a bit like you, the eyes.. he looks at me the same way when he's not listening to me.. the way you do, looks past my elbow and sort of nods, the same flat fronted teeth, ugh he's got the tent and everything, but you know he is younger so... he er he wants to get to the camp early so we, "yeah alright!! alright leonard!!!" he's waving to me to catch up, i'm tired! he wants to make sure we get there early he's afraid we're gonna look like the rest of the tourist idiots - i'll talk to you in a bit.
entry 3
hi!, er whats so bad about being a tourist idiot anyway, we've over shot , or however you want to say it, the camp we've gone past it, leonard is getting a bit er.. shackleton on me, he's gone off to have a look, he's hopping mad , you know its not my fault, and er its very cold obviously it er I dunno minus er....minus enough to make you want to put hats on every part of you... I mean I think this is, you know, funny this what its about, this is an adventure, you go and you look for something and er and you know its ridiculous he's kind of missing the point....it's like being out shopping with you, and er I suppose now I see now why you got a bit fidgety when I brought up the idea of him coming on this trip, you know, I mean infact you were rather more animated about that, than the idea that anything might happen to me of course, you know I thought that was interesting , and yes! ok i understand things are tough at the moment and you know it was pretty rotten we know that before i left, but it doesnt have to be like that.. if you were here i think you would feel differently , maybe you know.. if you were seeing what i'm seeing this amazing brightness, this.. this clear world you look around , and you know it makes you think well you know, it puts you in perspective really i think er i think things will be better when I get back.

perhaps you are not the kind of person who develops firm, passionate obsessions with objects. you also might not be the kind of person who is willing to eat food that comes pre-packaged in a styrofoam cup. you are thus a more virtuous, healthier person than i, i guess, but yr life probably isn't the roller coaster thrill ride of culinary misadventure that mine is, and in that respect you lose.
be advised that i am not talking about some anthony bourdain style of extreme slug eating or whatever. i try whenever possible to get my kicks, food-wise, in humble ways. like via the humble ramen noodle soup cup. the brand i favor is the maruchan instant lunch, california vegetable flavor. this soup requires a cup of water and three minutes to become a delicious meal, and, if you have some, some sriracha for added awesome. the cup's size and shape is conveniently designed for carrying around while walking and the broth has rehydrated peas and such floating in it. it is a relaxing comfortable food that i like a lot, and the corner stores around town seem to get about one box of soups per year. this is where the adventuresomeness comes in. maruchan makes instant lunches in many flavors, and while you will always find chicken, beef, lime shrimp and etc. on the shelves of yr neighborhood market, california vegetable is a rarer thing, disappearing for months on end, only to reappear mysteriously long after you have stopped looking hopelessly for it. the periods of abstinance from my favorite ramen make me appreciate it more, and its sneaky habit of showing up unexpectadly make every trip to the grocery store a thrill.

high fives all around.

there will be genetically-engineered animals that live in our toilets and eat our waste. we will have entire eco-systems in there, and they will be sparkling clean. these creatures will need our poop and our pee to survive. without it they will die! proper consumption of fiber will become a moral issue.
yr animal's halth and dispositions will depend on what you eat, and how often you poop. technicolored, 3 eyed sluggies for people who eat lots of fast food. lean, green, poop eating machines for health nuts! grumpy, clumsy blue firsh for alcoholics, bashing into the sides of the toilet bowl. they will be the tamagotchis of the future!
thus, yr eating habits will also have a social element. imagine, it's the first night the new girlfriend is staying over at yr place and she goes to pee and sees yr fat lazy sluggy sitting there, half a turd still floating around because he is too lazy to swim up and get it. it won't matter to her that yr super metabolism can handle 3 big macs a day without putting an ounce of fat on, she is out! little suzie won't be able to hide her laxative diet when the family toilet beast goes from a cute and cuddly turtle thingy to a gianormous blobby frog!

what would yr toilet beast look like?

i tend to think of my life as a choose yr own adventure. like say, it's super hot, and i pass a car and the windows are all the way up and the car is unlocked and there is a doberman in it, but he's barking like mad and kind of frothing at the mouth? i think to myself "ok, he's in the backseat, i should totally open the door and roll down the window a crack. otherwise that dog's gonna suffocate, and i am not sure what the ramifications of that will be, but probably it will mean that i don't get the treasure...BUT WAIT! maybe if i open the door, the doberman will tear out my threat and it will be THE END." i have seriously agonized over this exact situation for hours. just recently i passed an old camaro parked halway up the sidewalk with its lights on. the back windshield was made out of torn plastic and i very seriously debated climbing up on the trunk and pushing my way through in order to turn off the lights. who knows what would have happened? maybe i would have been kidnapped by pirates! that's just how it goes in choose yr own adventures, man. but now i will never know.

i have a single wish this evening and it is to spend time in a cafe with my dearest friends and be lucky enough to have this band walk in and play a dirge or two

Sigur Ros - Við spilum endalaust - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

Leave one memory that you and I had together as a comment
It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember
pretty please

sometimes i feel like life is a war between the smart, uncool, and unhappy highschooler inside me and the hippy, everything-is-beautiful early twenties i used to be
there's that highschooler, firmly convinced that everything and everyone is totally fucked
all of those questions, "why are people assholes?" "why is the world so screwed up?" "how is change possible?" and maybe even you have all the answers but they offer no comfort at all
and there are many beautiful things, but almost all of them are also kind of sad
so you run around, deeply unhappy, certain that you know a whole bunch of stuff, angry and right an powerless

the hippy early twenties bear knows about all this, but knows about some other stuff too
there is ice cream and flowers and dancing, there is hope and love and the ridiculous hilarity of everything
maybe the world's going to hell in a handbasket, but also isn't this roast chicken delicious?
who cares if the neighbor's dog keeps shitting on the lawn?
it's not that hard to clean it up
there is always something that can make everything okay
this is not as flaky and stupid as it sounds

the basic difference between these two people is that the angry highschooler thinks that everyone sucks and that's just the way it is, and the hippy early-twenties bear thinks mostly people are alright and the ones that suck can be ignored or explained away
now i'm in my mid twenties and there's probably going to be some whole new person that comes out to make sense of everything
what's it going to be?

lately, i find myself more furious than i've been in years
that hippy bear can't keep this shit in check no more
maybe i won't get into fights
but there are more and more people who i wish would burn in hell a little
just get singed a bit, just a few bites from demons
i don't want that pound of flesh, but i'd appreciate a few ounces
and i think to myself, "daniel, why so crazy? let it go"
but these days its less easy than it used to be

advice? predictions? lemme hear them

it is easy to quit the small things and think it makes no difference
we all cheat a little, digress, slip
we forget to write back, call instead, text instead of call, watch internet videos and miss our friends
this is my new challenge
i want to test the limits and possibilities of post cards

this guy is really something special

Created by Mingle2.com (Dating for non-zombies)

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So, wearybluesfeet, your LiveJournal reveals...

You are... 0% unique and 0% herdlike. When it comes to friends you are normal. In terms of the way you relate to people, you are keen to please. Your writing style (based on a recent public entry) is conventional.

Your overall weirdness is: 84

(The average level of weirdness is: 27.
You are weirder than 97% of

get out of my dreams you sweet asshole

poo poo fresh.
a homemade scent.
must keep my house smellin'
poo poo fresh.
do ya like my smell
the way i do?
you say you like yours better...
well, let's share a poo!
and see what smell comes from our bums.
lick your lips and say, "mmmm.. yums.."
and dance around the house
in pleather and mesh...
and say, "WHEEEE-DAWGY! IT'S
POO POO FRESH!"

my friends, why don't we go to Crete and raise glow worms
there's not a lot of money but we would have enough to get by

this idea makes more sense than anything i have thought before

it's for real. when you lay down that poem, the world's got her hand in yr pants.

living in new orleans, i've always wanted to swim in the mississippi. but everyone says you'll die if you swim in the river, and that's a warning that's hard to ignore. what will happen if i am sucked under the roiling surface while swimming? if i fight against the current, might i ve fighting against a natural path that frees me as quickly as it sucked me under. or if i don't fight the current and just act like a flexible branch of a sapling might i just flip and roll at the bottom til i can take no more? would a life vest keep me afloat? surely the mighty mississippi could swallow even an innertube. i have seen a few dogs swim in the shallows but mysteriously never a human. why does something so mythically deadly still call to me?